The Land of the Living

This was my most recent status update on Facebook this afternoon:

"Priscilla loves what God is doing in my life, and believe me, He is getting the last laugh.....He is AWESOME!!!!!

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."

John 14:1

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

Psalm 27:13-14"

Yes, I know, a long post, haha!! That's how this girl rolls, lol. Did I actually just say L O L on here?!? I am slipping!! Maybe I'm caffeinated....maybe it's that the sun is out....and maybe I am finally able to accept the goodness of the land of the LORD in the land of the living.

Right before my grandpa died, literally the night before, I wrote this blog post. The next day, he died and then that night I opened my Bible and I read the most awesome verse that I knew was a promise then:

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."

Psalm 27:13

I had seen the goodness of the LORD in the valley of the shadow of death. I have walked this valley for years and when it finally came to an end, it wasn't relief I felt, as some hoped I'd feel. It was sweet, it was bitter, it was release, it was grief, it was sad, it was pain, it was God.

Last night, I was reminded of what I gave up to say yes to God in helping with the daily events of my grandparents. And for the first time, my feelings weren't bitter. They were sweet as I realized that I haven't missed out on a thing. What God asked of me- my life- He is giving back tenfold. My friends were teasing me about not knowing much music besides Country and Christian.....hey, there is nothing wrong with those, I'm just sayin'. But I was trying to figure out why I didn't know any of the stuff they were talking about, and it's a small thing, but it's something, I never got a chance to hear it because I was helping my grandpa to the car, I was keeping my grandma from falling over when she walked with her walker, I was running errands with my mom, I was feeling like I was missing out, and feeling left out of life. I feel bad now because I desperately wanted my life to change, I had my moments of being a total brat as I threw my tantrums and wanted out of my life. But the thing that kept me going was that THIS IS WHAT I CHOSE BECAUSE IT'S WHAT GOD WANTED FROM ME.

Today, I am rejoicing about my life because I did the hard stuff- I'm not dumb enough to think the hard stuff is over....life is life and sometimes life is hell. But thank God, because of Him, life can be sweet.

So, I didn't grow up listening to the "cool" music and what-not.....guess what, I am being educated now and I love it!! I am looking back at my life and I can truly say that I am glad I have lived the life I've lived. Plain, boring, and yet filled with God-stops along the way that made me love my life before I have what I have now. And now I am seeing the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.....and it is awesome!!! Beth Moore said once that God should fill us up to the top, whatever blessing He gives should just be the cup running over.....

My cup runneth over

I absolutely HATE the thick clouds that cover the entire sky with their gray-ness. Really, I do. It actually affects my psyche and sometimes gives me a headache and makes me want to throw up. So, yeah, I really HATE the clouds!!!! That could be why I'm listening to this song right now.

"With ALL CREATION I sing praise to the King of kings, You are my Everything, and I will adore You!!"

All of creation is from God. From earthquakes to tsunamis, to tornadoes and hurricanes, to these awful clouds. I want to learn to live above this fog that comes over me when there are days (weeks) like these.

"We walk by faith, not by sight."

2 Corinthians 5:7

My cousin is a pilot and I remember him saying once that Maine is the worst place to fly into because of the fog. He can only rely on his instruments to help him land because he cannot see outside. Talk about faith. We can only hope his instruments never let him down!!

I'm not kidding when I say what the clouds are doing to my head. I am a positive, upbeat person who loves life, but when there are thick clouds that make a day all gloomy because there is no chance of them going away, I turn into a negative person who doesn't have an upbeat thought in her head!! I want to love the clouds as much as I love the blue sky and sunshine because God created both. If nothing else, because He created them.

When I was little, my mom would help me and my brother change our attitudes about life, and eachother, by telling us to say 10 good things about eachother, I mean, life. Haha!! So, I'm going to share with you my 10 good things about my life after this song.....I tried to find the least cheesy version and I love blue grass, so here goes, lol:

1) One week ago today, I officially started dating a man who makes my heart all twitterpated and who makes me think fairytales are real.

2) I have a blossoming career in photography, I never asked for it, but here it is.

3) I have the best mother in the world, she is my best friend.

4) My dad is pretty cool, too. :0)

5) I have friends who love me.....if you're reading this, you know who you are.

6) I have my God who inspired me to love the clouds because He created them.

7) His word is healing to me.

8) Did I mention that I have a boyfriend? ;0)

9) I love oldies, and cranking them up really loud and singing them (wrong) with my mama is pretty much my favorite thing to do right now.

10) I am loved by a Holy God. What could be better than that?

Yep, I'm still not liking the clouds so much, but I am feeling better. How about you? How are you today? I hope that whatever fog you face today, whether it be the weather or emotional or physical, I pray He touches you. You are loved, my friend!!

One more song and then I'm outta here to go get ready to meet some girlfriends for lunch. I love you and I hope your day is just a little brighter today!!!

Don't Stop Believing

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
Proverbs 31:25

Does anyone need those words today? Especially, if you're a woman reading this? I know I do. I am in great need of strength with a little dignity poured in there, and I definitely need the ability to laugh at the days to come. I am in need of peace of mind. Life throws its blows, but I need to know from the inside out that I am loved and that I am forgiven. I love how it's phrased in this verse: CLOTHED. As women, we love our clothes, and our accessories. How about as we apply that mascara and (my favorite) our lipstick, we also put on strength and dignity?

I'm the curious type; I want to know exactly what something means when I study the Bible. I love finding out and I think you will, too, what exactly strength and dignity mean in the Hebrew:

STRENGTH- Force, security, majesty, praise;- boldness, loud, might, power, strength, strong.

DIGNITY- Magnificence, ie. ornament, or splendor (Did I not mention accessories? Haha, I believe that right there is an accessory we can don); beauty, comeliness, excellency, glorious, glory, goodly, honor, majesty.

In other words, my dear hearts, we are clothed with God Himself. Did you notice that? All those qualities are what describe God. We can be clothed with Him, and consciously, every day, choosing to trust Him and love Him and obey Him, makes this happen. Constant conversation with Him and asking questions of Him without questioning Him, causes such intimacy, you can hardly not speak about, but you can almost not because He becomes everything to you. Anything you love, you talk about. Most women talk about shoes, clothes, jewelry, men, children, shoes, make up, hair, shoes.....Haha!!! We almost can't not!! And women who are in love? My gosh!!! I have seen love turn a perfectly sensible woman into a pile of mush!! Imagine what we'd be like if we clothed ourselves with Jesus. Everything else would fall into place, and our conversations would still be about shoes, clothes, jewelry, men, children, shoes, makeup, and hair, but they would be laced with grace and love. Even if we never said it, we would be wearing His name.

I have been enjoying the new movies coming out that are really action packed and have such comedy I literally ROFL!! (Ok, more like the couch than the floor, but you get the picture.) One thing that stands out to me more and more are the funny guys who keep their wits about them in really distressing times. Like this video....(Sorry, youtube didn't have an embed code for this one, but please click on the link and watch it!!)


"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
2 Corinthians 3:17

"Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever."
Psalm 125:1

If you know you're covered, it doesn't matter what happens, you can play around because you're connected to your Protector and Defender. Beloved, we are covered!! He has our back, just like Cougar had Jensen's back in the video above. And the freedom we have is astounding. Believe it.

On a personal level, I really need this. I'm not ok. I have my good days, but in general, I am not ok. I have been thru such a hard year, and before that, many hard years with mind excruciatingly hard days. Losing my grandpa was more than just how it sounds, in his death, most of my identity died, too. I'm no longer the girl who "helps take care of my grandpa". I feel sometimes like I have a big gaping hole in me that's just flapping open to the wind and I feel every draft. Not very many people understand this pain, this loss. It's like I'm 18 again without a clue as to what's next, only 10 times worse. For a whole year, I was tensed up waiting for my grandpa to fall, hoping he'd eat, and of course, waiting for the inevitable, his death. Now, my body is recovering from all that stress. I have been sickly off and on for months. Sometimes all I have the energy for is to read my Bible and talk with my mom, who feels what I feel only multiplied by 100. And in recovering, my family just keeps getting hit by one thing after another. As one of my relatives said about her mom, "My mom just has the worst luck!!" I can fully relate. If I'm not going to stop being hit, then something in me needs to change. I need some new clothes!! Haha, anyone want to go shopping with me? I want to be clothed with strength and with dignity so that when things come up, I can stand up against the enemy of God and be absolutely victorious because MY GOD HAS MY BACK!!!



This is my new "theme song", a song that as I listen makes me hear where I find the answers in life and where I find that strength and that dignity: Jesus Christ.

“You are strong and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.”
1 John 2:14

Mission Possible

"Apart from Me you can do nothing."
John 15:5

"The Kingdom of God is like...."



Life is a parable; all we have to do is watch and listen and we'll see we are living the parable He is teaching us. It's brutal out there. You don't even have to be out looking for trouble for trouble to find you. The other day I was reading thru my 3X5 spiral Scripture note cards and when I literally laughed outloud as the memory of the above video clip flitted thru my mind when I read "APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING." With me, without me; with me, without me; WITH me WITHOUT me.

There's another scene from the movie that captures my heart when I think about it. I'll just tell you because the clip is in the preview and if you haven't seen it, it might spoil it for you. In the movie, they get captured and she wakes up to him swinging like a pendulum saying, "June, I know this looks bad, but I'm gonna have us outta here in a few minutes. I got this." It kinda just reminds me of this:



This looks bad. It was. Honestly, I haven't been able to watch the movie and I can barely stand looking at this picture because I know the real story was worse than could ever be portrayed by an actor. As He hung on a cross, in essence the message is: "I know this looks bad, it is. But I have this. Just give me three days and I'll be free and so will you."

For some reason, this blogpost is harder to write than others. Probably because I need it so much. The website hasn't been working for me all that great and so I have had to post it little by little. So, with every "this tab has been recovered" session, I've become more and more determined to post this as I've lost it about 50 times already. It's not just the website, though. It's life. Right now, right this minute actually, my family faces one more challenge in life. The challenge is to trust when we've been wronged in doing the right thing. We have had another recent death in the family and issues have just been mounting until we wonder where God is in the distraction of life. How do we take the quiet times with Him into the busyness of life?

"With me, without me; with me, without me; WITH me, WITHOUT me."

Without Him, life is terrifying. With Him, it becomes an adventure worth living. What I desperately want is peace of mind in the chaos. I want to know my God fights for me and is in it with me and that He will save me when I need Him to. I know life happens, chaos erupts- both in the world as a whole as well as my own Priscilla world. But God is all about bringing peace to chaos: Creation was Him bringing peace to chaos; in the midst of Israel's chaos, a Savior was born. And in chaos, His death brought peace. I need that. My guess is, you do, too.

So, are we with Him?

As Tom Cruise says later in the movie, "With you."

Amen, Sir.

Open Your Hands

"LORD, I have heard of your fame;

I stand in awe of Your deeds, O LORD.

Renew them in our day."

Habakkuk 3:2

Sometimes, I am so anxious for God to renew His deeds in my day and for the promise of accomplished goals, I forget to enjoy and be blessed by the renewING He is doing. I want His works to be, well...done. We live in a society where everything is fast. I am in no way bashing technology, I love it!! I am so grateful for the advances we've made. These are tools to bless God with because He has blessed us with the gift of technology. But sometimes, I take for granted the precious gift of time. Sometimes time passes slowly. Ok, sometimes it ALWAYS passes slowly, haha!! But this morning, I am grateful for time. After a year and a half of doing the 9 week "Believing God" Bible Study from Beth Moore- yes, you read right: a year and a half- I am glad that I'm not the same person who started it in the late Spring of 2009. I am so glad it is January 2011. It took that long for God to accomplish the work in me of believing Him. And I'm not done. I'm just finally done with the study!! Life will be the test as I live and breathe what I learned.

I believe God more, so I'm anxious for His work in my life. I want to see it and I want to touch it so badly; I know THAT He's working but sometimes I miss out on the joys of HOW He's working. My uncle told me last summer when I was struggling, "Fast forward to joy." I fast forward alright: straight to losing my joy because I miss being with Jesus and walking with Him. I miss the daily changes because I want the full makeover NOW. I love the look of fresh manicures; I actually kinda hate getting them. They're boring and the stuff the ladies have on TV is garbage. Ugh!! I spend a lot of time texting my mom while I'm getting manicures. I know someday my poor phone will pay the ultimate price for that, but it's better than falling asleep. That's kind of how I think I view my walk with God. I want the glory and the fulfilled promises NOW.

"Therefore, I am going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her...."

Hosea 2:14

The desert, in the Bible, is the place God courts His Bride. Where, despite all the struggles and human tantrums we throw, we learn to love God and depend on Him for everything. This society doesn't give much opportunity for the "desert experience", but I believe that whether you experience "The Desert" physically or not, you can experience it while you feel the fullest in your world. My life can be so full and my heart can be so empty and I miss my God. The desert becomes my heart and mind as He leads me to a place where I become whole again and then I'm ready to face the world.

I read this yesterday as I picked up my devotional. "If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward MOMENT BY MOMENT. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence." - "Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence" by Sarah Young.

Yeah, that's me to a T. And it's also the solution to finding joy. Enjoy the moments while I anticipate the fulfillment of dreams. Enjoy TODAY even if I don't feel like I'm working toward my goals: Author, Photographer, Believer/Follower of God.....and believe that it's ok to rest because "He who watches over (me) will not slumber" Psalm 121:3. He doesn't sleep, He's never resting. He wants me to.

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because He has roused Himself from His Holy Dwelling." Zechariah 2:13

Here's a side note to me: I did an all day photoshoot on Saturday; and I am writing right now. And I believe God more today than I did a year and a half ago. I think the joy gets stolen when I think about my dreams instead of focusing on that I AM DOING MY DREAMS!!!! Thank God I didn't have this mindset as a baby learning how to walk!!!

I am done having my joy stolen. I'm looking around and realizing I'm taking baby steps. Every day I get stronger, every photoshoot makes me a photographer, every word I type makes me an author and every day I say, "I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE YOU, JESUS!!" makes me a woman who truly believes God.

So, I don't know what your dreams are. But if you're like me and you're having a hard time accepting that what you're doing is one step toward fulfilling your dreams, let me just say this to you and to me: Be happy about what God is accomplishing in you!! He is proud of you and even if it's a baby step, it's a STEP!!!! Accept His blessings, ALL of them, and if you're afraid to accept that what He's doing might be big, remember:

"GOD DID NOT GIVE (YOU) A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT A SPIRIT OF POWER, OF LOVE AND A SOUND MIND!!!!" 2 Timothy 1:7

Will you join me? Let's do ourselves a favor and hold our hands out to God and this time, not flinch when He fills them. He has done mighty things and He wants to do more. It can't be that much of a blessing for God, if when He hands out blessings, we flinch or even drop our hands out of fear.

"Let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:16

"We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10: 39

I hope you listen to this song and that you are blessed as you realize the joy does lie in the journey, you just have to trust God for the outcome. He is to be trusted. He can be. And He loves you.

~ Hymns and Powder Pink Sunrises ~

I love hymns. They have grown somewhat obsolete as the contemporary style of worship has taken over, and part of me is really glad because I am so not a pew sittin’, organ sing-a-long type girl. I love believers who are and I respect you, if you happen to be one who is ministered to by that kind of music ministry. But give me some guitars and drums, keyboard, and throw in a bass and I am there. Especially if the hymns end up sounding country in style. Give me a different melody even, but speed that baby up and I am listening to the words. I realize as I listen that those people got who God is and what the relationship is between Him and us.

This morning, my mom and I had an early start and we were driving as the sun was coming up. The air was brisk and clean, the clouds were few but God turned them the most beautiful shade of pink. They reminded me of my old phone; a friend called it a powder pink phone when he saw it. THAT is my favorite color and God accommodated me with that beautiful color as we got closer and closer to the mountain range. The mountains were a salmony pink. And no, I have no pictures of it. I don’t think I would have been able to take a picture and convey what I felt when I saw the creation lit up in MY favorite color. It’s a “you’d have to have been there and you’d have to know me to know how it blessed me to get it” kinda moment.

Add to that the majesty of worship music sung by Susie Luchsinger- I hate to do this, but she’s Reba McCyntire’s sister; I know she has her own identity, but for you to get the magnitude of her voice if you’ve never heard it, it’s a sweeter version of Reba’s. And I love Reba’s voice. It was a morning to behold. I didn’t just hear the hymns and see the beauty of God’s creation. I felt it to the core of me. I experienced God’s beauty this morning and I worshipped Him as I listened to the words of people who knew God that way. The blind Fanny Crosby, knew God this way when she wrote, “Blessed Assurance”-

“Perfect submission, all is at rest; I in my Savior am happy and blessed: watching waiting, looking above, I’m filled with His goodness, lost in His love.” (I couldn't find a youtube video with Susie singing this, so Third Day will have to do and I'd have to say, they do a darn good job.)


Horatio G. Spafford knew intimately the God who gives and who takes away and who in his own way said, “Blessed be Your name” as he wrote “It Is well”-

“My sin- Oh, the bliss of this glorious tho’t: my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!” (and yes, to my Facebook friends who saw my status this morning, I butchered that line as only I can, haha!! Please forgive me!!) This video, while more of the "pew/organ" variety, explains his journey.



The hymn writers of that day had beautiful ways of expressing their worship and their God. From them we can learn something. They embraced their pain by writing love letters to God. I’m not against today’s writers, if you keep up with my blog, most of the stuff I post is from the modern worship of today. But there’s just something about the old words sung in new ways and with such SOUL that just touches my soul and I just had to share it with you. So, whatever your style of music for worshipping the Lord, I’d love to encourage you to listen to the old words of some hymns and be blessed. And if you happen to live in the great state of Colorado and you saw this morning’s sunrise, remember your God who created all of that, loves you more. If you are blessed by nature and your soul is just filled to the brim by experiencing it, it’s God saying, “I love you. I would trade all of creation just for you, you are mine.”

Since I couldn't find the hymns above on youtube sung by Susie Luchsinger, I had to add this one as a bonus. I absolutely love this song written by John Newton and Chris Tomlin, and I love Susie's voice and style.

~ Happy New Year ~

Happy New Year!! Do you have any goals, any resolutions for the new year? I know I do, but I'm leaving my calendar open for the possibility that the Lord might have something else in mind.

Here are a few of mine:

~ Lose the Grandpa inch or two I gained this past year; all that food was to fatten him up, not me.

~ Actually write the book God has put on my heart; note to self, the backspace key doesn't erase my life, only letters....stop using it and put these acrylic nails to good use.

~ Explore and pursue all the possibilities of becoming a photographer.....and then be one.

~ Fall in love with the Person of Jesus Christ and live in the wide open place of His love.

Haha, did you notice I put the girly one first? Seriously, I need to get back in shape. It is a goal of mine.

Writing is a calling. I was conceived with a story and born with the first chapter half written. I have grown up overcoming one thing after another, and today, I have to let my fingers do what God has created them to do: pound out His story so people will see Him in me. That's why I was created. That is my purpose. A calling is something you struggle with until you step into the shoes the Master puts in front of you and walks when He says, "Walk." I have a feeling once I get started, you won't be able to recognize me. Really.

Photography, on the other hand, is a gift from God. I have been telling people that I get nothing but pleasure out of it and put nothing but pleasure into it. I love it. Some dear friends approached me this past fall with doing a Senior Photoshoot for their soon to be high school graduate. I didn't even have to ask God for this job, but He gave it to me. Michayla and I had a fabulous time doing it; so much so, I got a new camera and I'm doing practice shoots with her just to see what this new baby will do. My mom is jealous of my new camera and she doesn't take pictures....ever!! Haha!!



Speaking of my mom, she told me that I could make calendars and stuff. I'm trying not to shy away from that. So, I thought I'd show you my work and see what you think. Almost two years ago, my only brother got married and I caught my sister-in-law's bouquet. I hung it upside down in my room to dry and I've just left it because it looks so pretty. I was playing around with my new camera the other night and then played around with editing. Here is the result.

"I have called you by your name; and you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1

"Since you were precious in my eyes, you are honored, and I love you." Isaiah 43:4

"The ones waiting for Jehovah shall renew power." Isaiah 40:30

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

My last goal is the goal that sets the other plans in motion, if they are indeed His plans for me. I have been tempted to be a recluse this year. Avoid all people and just spend time with Jesus. The problem is that what I gain as I spend time with Him, must be shared, and I enjoy being around people too much, haha. I can't spend time with Jesus and not hang out with people, He is too big for me to hog, His presence in my life is too much for me to keep my joy contained. If I try, I become less and His presence is reduced to how much Priscilla can handle. I don't want to live like this. I really don't. The life of a recluse is not for me, it's just sometimes I need time away, time to think, time to pray, time to regroup because it's a mean world out there. Thank GOD He understands and that He is that place of rest for me. As I read and study the very words of God and as I grow and change, I start falling in love with Him. And sometimes, He speaks to me. I struggle with it because I wonder if it's real, but I have some treasures of Scripture to share with you that proves to me it's real:

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

"We have the mind of Christ." 2 Corinthians 2:16

"No one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:11-12

And this is the one I thought of when I wrote my last sentence:

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. BUT GOD HAS REVEALED IT TO US BY HIS SPIRIT." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10

I don't know what you're facing as you look forward to 2011. But I do know that God has given us all a New Year to do it all over again: LIFE. I want to live it and I want to love Him and let Him direct my every move. I want His blessing this year. I want to be a blessing this year, both to God and to you, dear friend, as well as to my world. I can only do that if I'm walking with Christ, and letting His light into every part of my life, reaching every dark corner.

"Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on His God." Isaiah 50:10

Before I close, I want to share my new theme song for the New Year as well as my life right now.

P.S. Another goal of mine would be to blog more this year. Once a month would be awesome, once a week would be ideal.....