Last Names Don't Matter

Nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks this afternoon as my mom mentioned a name I hadn't thought of in awhile: Cavell. I, being the social network butterfly that I am went looking for this person, this name on Facebook. No such luck. She said, almost warningly, "He might not be alive anymore, he was pretty sick when Grandma died 7 years ago." So, I went to Google instead and I about melted into a tiny little puddle, because sure as shootin' the very top site was Cavell's obituary. He died in February of last year.

Grief.

Nostalgia.....

I didn't grow up like most kids, all crammed into a brick building and having to eat school cafeteria food and all that stuff. Public school is about as foreign to me as what I am about to share would be foreign for my peers. I grew up in the back of a car as we hurried from one emergency to another with my grandparents. I grew up in hospital waiting rooms, and my lunches were very often hospital cafeteria food.....so I can totally relate to my public school friends when it comes to gross food. And speaking of food.....I also grew up at....(drum roll, please)....

The Gemini.

For those of you reading this who are family, or anyone else familiar with this restaurant, you know what it was like. The food started out awesome. Then management slipped and the food got really bad. My grandparents LOVED it!!! When I think of my childhood, and where I grew up, The Gemini stands out as almost my place of residence. It should, I was only there 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes even twice a day.....ugh!! (That is probably why today, I am more of a fast food restaurant person!!)

I knew every person working there, including the owner and his family, I knew the ins and outs of the business, ALL the drama- gather a few humans together and sooner or later, there is going to be drama!! I also knew all the regulars.....the list goes on. But for right now, I want to focus on one person.

Cavell. Now I do know his last name, but for the privacy of his family and friends, I'll keep it to myself. Cavell grew my world considerably as a 7, 8, 9 year old child. And he should have, the man was 6 foot 6, and huge. And black. I hadn't had many personal encounters with black people before him. No reason in particular, I just hadn't. He was also the first gay person I ever met, and he was a waiter at The Gemini all the years I was growing up there.

I remember being told what "gay" means, and watching to see what it meant. I didn't see anything, but why would I? I was a little kid. But I also remember my grandma taking it upon herself to love the man. And how he responded. He came around our table, whether he was waiting on us or not, and soaked up the love. My grandma was so contagious in her love, that my mom and I followed suit. Talk about a legacy!!

Over the weeks and months, possibly even a year, Cavell began changing. The man who was, in all his gay pride glory, the epitome of homosexuality, was becoming softer, and listening more. And then one day, on New Year's Eve, he called my grandma and said to her, "I just wanted to let you know where I'm spending New Year's Eve. I'm going to church. I gave my life to Christ. I thought you should know." She did. And then we watched in the next couple of weeks and sure enough, he was a changed man.

Cavell started preaching Jesus. He lost his "gayness", although his ways were so long embedded, one of my cousins told me once he knew who all the gay people were in the building and how "that big guy behind the counter" was one of them. I said, "No, he's not." He was sure he was, and I finally blew up, "No, he IS a Christian, he gave his life to the LORD last year on New Year's Eve!" If you only just glanced at Cavell, you'd be able to see traces of his old pattern still worn in his flesh. But if you watched him and knew him like I knew him, you saw a changed person who loved Jesus. He would tell his co-workers to pray about their problems, and he would pray for them.

As I write this, I remember hugging him every time I saw him, I remember his laugh....His loud belly-laugh made you laugh, too. His whole body would laugh. He was fun. He and my grandma had a special relationship, she called herself his "White Mother" And then she joined alliances with his mom, and my gosh, every person in that place that had a need got it prayed for by those two!!

When I read that Cavell had died a year and a half ago, grief hit for the man who had been thru so much, and then joy because he is where he was created to be: in the Presence of his Maker. Cavell knew something many people don't, not even fellow church-going believers. He knew the redemption of his Savior. And while he bore in his body the scars of his past, he bore in his heart and mind the cross of Jesus Christ and he lived it well. Even though I hadn't see him the last few years of his life, I am confident he met his Deliverer and nothing else mattered but him and Jesus.

After finding Cavell's notice of death online, I spent the next hour looking for other people I knew, but back then, last names weren't important. So, I only had a few names to look up. I wonder where all those people are now. They all helped form my childhood. Most of them were convicts, some of them were lonely people who needed money to pay the rent, and all of them loved my family. My grandma set the bar really high when she decided to love them all with the love of Jesus. And to say they responded is an understatement.....

Even though I haven't seen him in 6 years, it was shocking to my system to see Cavell had died. Thinking about him brought him to life, the obituary online made his death real. If there is one thing I wish you could take from this is, HOLD ON to the relationships, the people you have around you. You may lose them one day, either by circumstances, or by death. I just reconnected with someone I haven't talked to in years, and even though it's just simple catching up, it's healing. Keep up with people, and for the love of God, love them!!! I seem to be in a season of losing people whether by death, or by circumstance and I didn't choose any of it. I've just reacted. I love people, all people. And I hold on until I can't any longer. That's just how I am. So, I don't understand this season, but I know God will accomplish all He desires as He walks me through it.

As for my past, well, it's my past, and I wouldn't trade my childhood for all the tea in China, all the proms in high school, or all the....well, you know what I mean. It's mine, and all the people who adorn the halls of my heart....well, dead or alive, they are loved and I thank God for shaping me thru all experiences I have had, and I look forward to what's ahead.

RIP Cavell

You were loved, you are precious, and you showed me the meaning of Redemption. You wore the title well, my friend. Give my grandparents a hug for me, I'm sure my grandma is demanding you to fill her cup one more time!! Until we meet again, dear friend....