~Enlarged Borders~

Our pond has been a source of grief for us ever since we moved here. Shortly after we settled here, we were slapped with a lawsuit for illegally using our water....something we were completely innocent to. Unbeknownst to us, the pond had been dug illegally before we bought the place, and we thought we could use our own pond. Wrong!! We were taken to court where we were stripped of our water rights.

I was about 12 when all that happened, and that was my first disappointment with God. We all prayed, we were in the right, we had all the evidence to prove it, but at the last minute, the judge ruled against us. I didn't understand it at all. I thought God was on our side. I will never understand how or why we lost. It wasn't our fault the pond had been dug, we were completely innocent. And we were the ones treated like the criminals. Sigh.

Not much has changed, just recently, my dad was taken to court over something that was not his fault, and he lost. Once again, our family was treated like we're the criminals, while the ones who left us standing with the bill, skip out on it all.

I don't get it. At all. Neither does my mom. She told the judge at this last court hearing, "It just doesn't seem to pay to do the right thing." He stuttered and stammered, "Well, Ma'am, that's not true...." Yeah right. Proving it in this society is impossible.

Well, as my brother said, regarding the Casey Anthony case, "They may have gotten away with it here, but there is Another who will judge them right someday, and they won't get away with it then." Sometimes my brother just has the right amount of wisdom to drop a jaw. (I'm formulating another post about more of his wisdom and insight, so be looking for it....) And he's right. People will eventually pay for the things they have done to innocent people. Thank You, Jesus!! While it may not matter to anyone else, injustice matters to Jesus.

I have had a hard time defining forgiveness lately....alot of wrong has been done to my family in this year alone to make me think God is teaching me about what forgiveness really is. What has happened to us is not ok, it will never be ok. I realized I was holding on to my issues because I was the only one it mattered to. Once God showed me that it mattered to Him, I have been able to let go. It more than matters to Him, when something matters to Him, HE DOES SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! With fire, with vengeance, with power, with a rush of wings at our side. HE IS HERE and my family's pain MATTERS TO A HOLY GOD!!!!!

If Scripture isn't enough to prove it, or if they're just words that seem meaningless, don't lose heart. God always backs up His Word.

The storms this summer have been AWEsome.

I have gone outside many a night and stomped my way back and forth thru the wind and rain and wrestled with God, and with my own heart.

I have submitted to Him as I've seen a tornado almost touch the ground. I know God answered Job in a storm, I figured He could answer me.

I'm not sure He answered the way I wanted or not.....He probably was waiting for me to shut up!! Nah, I really don't think that. I think He wants me quiet before Him, but I think He probably enjoys watching me get animated over life. I'm quiet in a wrong way far too often.

I have sat and watched the most beautiful of lightening storms I have ever seen(sorry, no pictures), and brought all my questions before Him. Still no answer. My mom said one morning, "Do you realize what we saw is what they saw at the Mountain of God when He led them out of Egypt into the desert?" Ok, so maybe He did answer: I AM GOD. LOOK AT ME, AND KNOW I AM GOD. The Scriptures about how bright God is, His face, His hair, His eyes, His legs....did come to mind as I watched the sky light up.

With every storm that has passed by, we have gotten so much water running thru our place. All the creeks seemed to flow. Right into our pond, btw. Yeah, remember how I started this post out, about the pond? Let's go back to the pond together for a little bit, ok?

Our pond became a dirty little water hole for awhile. Pretty, and nice to be around, but still, not that great. A neighbor came and dug it out....for free....a couple years ago. And with every storm, there is more and more destruction. My dad is forever worried about it over flowing and breaking a dam he has up. I, however, love it. So does my mom. Because with all the rain and all the creeks running, the pond has reshaped itself. Or should I say, God is reshaping our pond. With destruction. With power. With force. And with bright light (no, lightening hasn't struck it yet, but it has been very present). And today we have a mini-lake. A beautiful body of water that comes up almost to the surface of the ground. Our borders have been redefined, and while enduring alot of hardship, they are bigger and better than before. No judge, no lawyer, no illegal activity can override what God has done with our pond. It is becoming a symbol of hope, of healing, and of miraculous power for me. And this Scripture comes to mind:

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

Psalm 16:5-6

(It used to be a third of it's current size)

Destruction seems to be God's tool to make the world a more beautiful place. Nothing gets in His way when He acts. I'm looking forward to seeing what the aftermath of all the destruction of this year is. Storms scare me, and yet I love them. I'm terrified of being hit by lightening, or being whisked away in a tornado....when the wind started last night, I imagined being sucked into a tornado, I got as far as being in the middle of a field barefoot, wearing shorts and a t-shirt- because that's what I was wearing at the time, and my coke-bottle thick glasses because I accidentally dropped a contact down the drain more than a week ago (another blog post in the making...), and in my head, I was wandering around stepping on stickers and that's when I came back to the reality of sitting on my porch, dry, and safe. It wasn't a pleasant picture at all, Haha!!

Destruction removes all obstacles and puts valleys in flat lands. It makes a way for something bigger. And almost always, the aftermath of destruction is beauty. Whether it's a pond, the Grand Canyon, a forest after a fire, or my heart....beauty is eminent. It's shocking how beautiful aftermath is. It's a perfectly shaped pond where there used to be a big hole in the ground. It's a tourist attraction as people flock to the Grand Canyon to take in such devastating beauty. It's the hint of green, a little flower in ashes where there used to be a forest. I can't tell you what the beauty is in my heart....maybe it's the humor I have as I write this post with tears covering my eyes, maybe it's growth I feel, the strength I am finding I have. I don't know what it is, but I know God will continue to cause destruction until beauty is all there is. (Dude, am I beautiful enough yet?!? Haha!!)

I hope that as you read this post, you will be encouraged by the lesson from my pond, and that as God destroys you (I know, I sound so hopeful, so optimisitc, right?), that you will be able to look past your destruction and see the beauty you are becoming. And if you aren't facing any kind of destruction, and you don't know what I'm talking about, be warned by someone who thought much like you.....your God is coming for you, and He will let nothing, and I mean NOTHING, get in His way where you are concerned. You can't run, and you can't hide. He wants you more than anything in the world.

He wants you to be devastatingly beautiful. Just like Him.

"Your eyes will see the King in all His beauty and view a land that stretches afar.....There the LORD will be our Mighty One. It will be like a place of broad rivers and streams. No galley with oars will ride them, no mighty ship will sail them. For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our King; It is He who will save us."

Isaiah 33:17 & 21-22