Birds of a Feather

“….how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.”
Matthew 23:37

My mom has a thing for bottle feeding creatures, i.e. bunnies, lambs, kittens and birds. Ok, not birds, she feeds them with an eye dropper. This past weekend, my dad brought in two baby birds for her to take care of. One of the birds is very strong-willed and wanting to fly. The other has a tattered wing and isn’t quite so aggressive. It’s been an entertainment, as well as an opportunity to learn something.

My mom has had to pry their tiny beaks open so she could stick the eye dropper in and give them their one drop of food. She keeps talking to them saying, “I know what’s best for you, I wish you trusted me enough to open your mouth, you need more than you’re getting.”

Well, today, for the first time, the weaker baby opened his mouth by himself to accept food, and just now, he’s eating out of her hand. The joy in my mom’s tone is that which I imagine our God has in us when we accept His care of us. When we accept God on His terms, He LOVES providing for us, and wants to bless us even more. That’s when the intimacy of relationship enters into our lives. My mom is relating to the bird now, and feeding him is a pleasure. There’s just something really cool about thinking about going from stiff arming God and feeling the consequences to falling into step with Him and accepting Him as He is and opening our lives up to Him….that’s when we begin to be touched by the hand of God. How special is that?

How intimate!!

How powerful!!

How wonderful.

The baby bird, who’s stronger, is the one who still fights the eye dropper. He has yet to experience the intimacy of the hand of his feeder. All he knows is that when she finally pries his mouth open, he enjoys what goes down his throat. But he can’t share in the “relationship” the other bird has with my mom. Maybe before this is over, before she sets them free to fly outside, he will have accepted her….time will tell.

For me, I have to admit, I look with envy at the bird with the tattered wing. I still have a hard time accepting the hand of the Provider. I want what He provides, but to, in essence, eat out of the palm of His hand? I’m like the other bird.

But I want to be the one, who when He reaches out His hand of blessing, I take the blessing AND the hand with gusto.

I want to hear my Creator shout out with joy, “She did it!!”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” declares the LORD.”
Jeremiah 29:11-14a

The Glory of God

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands....there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world..."

Psalm 19:1,3-4a

A week ago today, we were hit by a tornado. Our roof is totaled, our flowers and trees are shredded, but our house is still standing, and so are we. We take care of my 89 year old grandpa, and my parents and my one and only thought was, “Get Grandpa to the basement safely.” We did. With God’s help and in His strength and initiative on all our part we got him downstairs where he enjoyed watching the storm from the open door. Then we went out and took pictures and watched the storm. After it passed, we went out and assessed the damage. Outside our kitchen window, we have pots of flowers. Correction; we HAD pots of flowers. Now, we just have pots of stocks.And that made me think…..

Everywhere we looked we could see where the tornado had hit us. The beauty was in the sky, no longer in our flower pots, nor on our trees. This is like a theme for our life, or so it would seem.

The other day, my mom and I were looking at old pictures. Without meaning any disrespect, I looked at images of my mom 16 years ago and said, “What happened?” (I know, I know, totally wrong response and I know my future kids will totally get me back someday.) She even said, “Wow, if that wasn’t me, I’d say, ‘she’s pretty!!’” (See? My reaction was justified.) The picture we were looking at is stunning and it was a candid of her and Preston and me. I got to looking at the surroundings of the picture and I realized what the storms of life this flower had endured. The picture was taken right before one of her favorite people died, her kids were still babies- her youngest was 7 and she had no idea that he’d be deploying to Iraq 2 times 16 years later because of a war caused by terrorists in the Mid-East. Her mom/best friend was still alive, and she had no idea that her husband would lose his job and the country would be in a recession. She’d had storms in her life, but the next decade and a half would be the one where God would really test her.

Back to our flower pots, the stocks were still standing when we got upstairs. Their beautiful petals were in the pots floating around in the rain water. I about cried when I saw them. I mean, I’d just survived a tornado, I should have been joyfully happy, but all I could say was, “Look at our poor little flowers!!”

I felt the same when I saw the picture of my mom. When I felt a touch of fear, I realized that beauty was a god to me, my mom’s beauty, and beauty in general. I still think my mother’s “the prettiest lady in the whole wide world”, to quote Taylor Swift’s song, “Best Day”, but when I look back at what life does to beauty, it scared me. Maybe I faced my mother’s mortality or something. Maybe I realized that I’ll probably look like an old Asian woman someday. Whatever it was, made me see a part of my own humanity I didn’t like.

And then, like a storm clearing, I’ve seen the sun shining on the stocks in the flower pots all week. The stocks, though weathered and badly beaten up, were still standing. And in their standing, I saw a different kind of beauty. A beauty that lasts. I saw God. Life has beaten my family and me up like a tornado whips up the prairie. We are bruised and battered, but by the grace of God, we are standing. Our petals are floating around, but our stocks are strong and being made stronger. Our roots are firm. I look around at my church, my friends and acquaintances around the country and I see the storms of life haven’t left one of us unscathed. And I see the weary look in your eye, or hear it in your tone and feel it as I read your texts. Life is hard. Life hurts. But praise God, you are standing. I see Him when I talk with you and I watch you grapple with life and as you fight to stand. I’m proud of you, but more, I’m proud of Him. You may have lost your petals, your beauty that made you think you “had it”. But beloved, you have an everlasting beauty as the God of heaven and earth enters you and makes you stand. He proclaims your beauty and applauds you as you take one step after another in His direction. You are beautiful.

Guess what, today I saw the first flower since the storm outside the kitchen window. I went outside to examine and take a picture of it because I knew that I was going to show you. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the first flower is purple- the color of royalty. She’s battered and she’s got hail holes in her, but she’s there all the same. She showed up despite what the storm did to her. Want to know something else? She’s FACING THE DIRECTION SHE GOT HIT. She’s not cowering, afraid of the next storm. She’s facing it head on, almost defiantly. The storm didn’t get the best of her, she’s not letting it.

And neither are you. You are standing, even if your petals are gone, or they’re full of bullet-like holes, you’re standing. Your beauty will return. Selfishly, I hope and pray for each of us, it’s in this lifetime. But I do know for sure and for certain, you and I will have beauty bestowed on us by our God beyond this life. Stand firm and take a lesson from a battered flower who hasn’t lost her regal standing:

“In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel.”

Isaiah 4:2 “How attractive and beautiful they will be!”

Zechariah 9:17

~Wanted, Judas and Friends!!!!~

“Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to Him those He wanted, and they came to Him. He appointed twelve- designating them apostles- that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. These are the twelve He appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter); James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them He gave the name Boanerges,which means Sons of Thunder); Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James, son of Alphaeus, Thaddeus, Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him.”
Mark 3:13-19

I have been drawn to this passage for weeks and not just because we’ve been doing a life study kind of based on this passage at my church. I decided to really study it this week, which for me means reading it over and over, then looking at the other gospels to compare and letting all of it soak into me.

I’ve been focusing on the gifts these men received: The gift of being with Him, the authority to preach, and the authority to drive out demons. In Matthew 10 it says, He also gave them the authority to heal every disease and sickness. I’m in awe of these things. I believe these are possible and available to anyone who follows Jesus the way these men did.

I don’t know about you, but I rarely read all the names in the Bible. Call me sacrilegious, but I think it’s boring. Forgive me, LORD, for thinking anything’s boring about Your word. He gave these names on purpose. I have been overwhelmed to the point of tears this week as I’ve been studying because I read something I’ve never even understood before. Let me take you back with me as I show you what I read, and maybe you’ve already read this and have gotten it. If you have, please rejoice with me as we read of the incredible person of Jesus Christ. Forgive me as I zig-zag over the passage, but this is how I get things.

“Jesus…called to Him those He wanted….Simon….James….his brother John....Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James….Thaddeus, Simon…and JUDAS ISCARIOT, WHO BETRAYED HIM.”

He gave those gifts and the same authority He gave everyone else to Judas. He knew Judas was going to be key in His death on a cross. And He gave him the same power He gave everyone else. Why?

“Jesus …called to Him those He wanted…” - words of life. Precious words. He wanted Judas to be His friend, His companion, His APOSTLE. And even though Judas betrayed Him, isn’t Christ still glorified thru the person of Judas? His work was accomplished; He made the goal with Judas. Judas may have been an “apostle gone bad”, but you can’t talk about Judas without talking about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

This is big to me.

As I realize that Jesus wanted the person who He knew would later betray Him, I look back over the list of names and I see who else Jesus wanted: Simon Peter, the one who knew without uncertainty that he wouldn’t deny Jesus…just before he denied his friend; James and John who fought for self-importance; even the future Doubting Thomas was someone Jesus WANTED.

We don’t often think of Jesus having emotion, not like this. We know He wept when Lazarus died, we know He cried over the city of Jerusalem. But to think that Jesus called people He wanted is something so amazing. What’s also amazing is that THEY CAME. Simon Peter came. James and John came. Thomas doubted Jesus was alive later on, but he still CAME!! And Judas. Bless his heart, he came. He betrayed Jesus for money in the end, but there was a point in his life where Jesus said, “Come” and he went. Not only did he follow Jesus as His disciple, His apostle, but as His friend. Jesus wanted him. With all his faults, Judas was loved and he was WANTED.

I’m very close to tears as I realize the enormity of this. I desperately want to be wanted like this. The story of Judas gives me great hope. The story of the disciples gives me unspeakable joy. Because the 12 of them combined makes up the human race. Do we not fight for self-importance? Do we not say vehemently that “we will” or “we will not” and then we don’t, or we do? Do we not doubt Him, like ALL the time? And maybe we’re not as obvious as Judas, but betrayal comes in many forms. I stand ashamed that I’m all this and more.

This week I’ve been caught off guard by the love of Jesus. I believe the whole Bible is for each of us, what Jesus said there, He says to me personally, as well as you personally, as we read it. It’s my very own love letter from a Holy God. I am called because I am WANTED. I am loved and I have been given authority by God. It’s scary to think that the gifts He gave them are extended to me. That’s the real reason I’ve been pondering this scripture. And in studying that, I have been given a treasure in the middle of the scary. And maybe it’s the key to it not being so scary.

I asked a question on Facebook this week, “If Jesus said to you, “Come”, would you go?” The response, in essence, was, “How can I not?” Oh, beloved, you do have a choice. Following Him requires your whole life, your whole being. No breaks, no vacations, no restroom breaks. I don’t know where my study of this passage is going to lead me. But I do know thing:

I am wanted. And beloved, so are you.

If you ever doubt this, remember Jesus wanted the men who betrayed Him, denied Him and doubted Him to be His friends. You and I have done this and more.

We are in good company.

We are wanted.

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”
John 15:15-16